Surrender

Throughout the last year there have been a lot of challenges in our lives, Chris being in ER twice, Ann and her health problems, Chris being laid off and my injury. I feel like Heavenly Father has sent me back to school to learn some valuable lessons. Number one, the lesson of surrender.


As a woman of faith that lives in the world I often find my head and my heart arguing. My heart feels the promptings, and calmness of the spirit. My head, which often is part of the world, argues that it isn’t rational or that I’m not being practical. 95% of the time I just tell my head to be quiet. The other 5% of the time is when surrender comes in.

For example, when Chris was laid off, other than the initial panic of the primary bread winner losing his job, both of us has felt a peace that things were under control. We received the calmness in our hearts that this was Heavenly Father’s plan and it was going to be okay. We have had several reaffirmations of that calming peace. Now, he has been out of work for about 2 ½ months. Even though 95% of my heart is at peace my head is starting to clamor that we need to find a job fast. That is where the trust and surrender comes in.

Over the last week and a half I have been pondering this principle more and more. As a parent we always want the best for our children. It is really hard to let life happen to them sometimes. Even as they age and become adults we want to protect them. Especially when another acts on their free agency and hurts them through no fault of theirs. It is so hard to watch a child be in pain that you can’t fix. That is where the surrender comes in. As much as we love our children, our Heavenly Father loves them even more. I know that He is the only one that can heal them, when we can do nothing but feel helpless. He can make it better!

If you had asked me a year ago if I was a control freak, I would have said no. The circumstances of the last year have shown that I am more than I ever would have thought. I know without a doubt that my Heavenly Father’s plan for my life is better than I can imagine. I am renewing my commitment to surrender more and fight less. I will trust in his plan for my life and that of my family. His wisdom, timing and love for my family are eternal and infinite. I am so grateful to have this knowledge and testimony.  He sustains me when things are hard.